There is no getting away from the intense comedown that occurs when you arrive home from an incredible overseas adventure. Like all individuals predisposed to international citizenship no matter where I have been I suffer a horrible bumpy ride back to life, back to reality. But holy moly and oh my lawwwwwd, NYC has proven itself to be the crack of international travel yo… come June I was in the throes of the meeeeanst withdrawals.
It took weeks to really get my head around the fact that I was no longer in Brooklyn. Weeks of much sighing and gnashing of teeth. Weeks of brokering of complex secret deals with the universe late at night, when my mind wandered to Havemeyer & South 2nd. Weeks of sentences beginning with ‘So, when I was in New York….’. Weeks of being consumed by my woe-is-me, first-world problemo.
Homies : Havemeyer & Sth 2nd
However, beyond the glib was a true issue. I believe that to do the work that I and my fellow recipients are immersed in first and foremost that you have to be 100%, truly-madly-deeply in love with Aotearoa. You have to be recklessly consumed with an audacious love and hope for the people, the place and the wairua. To get up every morning I have to actively live my faith in humanity, contribute constantly to a greater good of social justice, love and equality that I believe is the natural state of our universe. None of us do this alone, for if we did nothing would ever change at a macro-level. I see my role as a catalyst and opportunity generator for a greater social movement in our community and as such at the core of my faith is an overwhelming faith in Aotearoa to heal itself. This is Big Love. Which is all fluffy, wonderful and a real strength until that Big Love is threatened, until it is momentarily clouded by another… and a decidedly Bright Lights / Big City style ‘other’ at that. Unfortunately, when that happens things start to come undone and my fragile little mind went into overdrive. What was happening with me and my Big Love? I sat up late into the night trying to work it out. Were we on a break? Was it over? OMG! Was NYC my Big Love? Was I breaking up with Aotearoa??!! Is that what’s happening here? Gah!
Anyone who knows me knows that I have a particular affliction, medical term: ‘Paralysis of Analysis’. An interesting affliction, it both giveth and taketh away; the eventual insight is rad (an unexamined life and all that) but the accompanying mental maelstrom takes you places you should never go. Admittedly this is mainly because these ‘places’ are made up your head, your own personally devised dramas, born from being a complete control freak and not getting things your way. Ha. So anyway after a crazy old time coming down from NYC I came to a few excellent realisations.
I am an international citizen.
I have an international skill set.
To do this work you have to have an audacious love and hope for the planet not just your backyard.
I was nearing the end of my 12-step program, I needed to get over myself, focus and liberate all the intellectual capital was locked up in my short-circuiting brain, crankin’ it up as a conduit of awesomeness between my TWO Big Loves. In short, I, Sarah Jane Longbottom, emerged from my cold-turkey NYC rehab as a confirmed Geographic Polygamist. Churrrrr.
Otis Frizzell is awesome
Of course, as this internal struggle was raging within I was still doin’ the do with my mahi and actually this month has been really choice. Even though self-sabotage meant I was not at my peak performance level, testament to the investments and connects already made was the fact that things tootled along nicely. The highlight of the month for me was presenting at the Creative New Zealand National Arts Conference, ‘Arts For, With and By Young People’. I had been approached mid-2012 to be a workshop presenter and took this an awesome opportunity to showcase Nga Rangatahi Toa, our kaupapa of excellence, and our successful meshing of creative arts and creative industry professionals with youth development. I enlisted the one and only Otis Frizzell to give the arts-mentor perspective and one of our alumni, Atarangi Heke, to give a rangatahi perspective.
Wahine Toa : Atarangi Heke speaking at the CNZ conference
I was so proud of Ata. It was pretty daunting for her to get up in front of the who’s who of the New Zealand creative community and give her testimony of a sometimes difficult and chaotic life. She spoke from the heart and in doing so connected with every single one of our large audiences. Otis was his hilarious and awesome self, effortlessly charming and engaging through his warmth and perceptive intelligence. Ata, Otis and I formed a great combo, a true presentation of what I believe to be at the heart of Nga Rangatahi Toa. The response to our presentation was resoundingly and overwhelmingly positive and it marked a great strengthening of our relationship with Creative New Zealand. We were celebrated amongst our peers and the conference gave a good indication that we are at the top of our game in community cultural development projects with marginalised rangatahi. We are on this path with dedicated supporters and it is a good place to be.
Ladi6 and her girls
We also participated in the opening of the Wellsford Library opening. Our tu meke music mentor, Ladi6, performed with the two young women she had mentored and there was an exhibition of the works created earlier in the year at Ka Rawe Creative.
Liam with his mentor Chris Ryan
Getting over the fact that right now I cannot live in New York City was hard. Oddly enough if it wasn’t for the incredible community I am part of (that helped me realign my perception and reapply myself when I returned) I would be in NYC right now. If I had a ‘normal job’ I would have quit it, bought a ticket to JFK and seen what happened. But I don’t have a normal job, I have a calling and a vested interest in what I am doing and a responsibility to ensure that our created community lives beyond one person and one year. This is my next 4-year challenge, to achieve true sustainability so that the kaupapa of Nga Rangatahi Toa is impermeable but the mahi is organic, allowing room for others to ultimately take the helm and bring their own flavour. I founded Nga Rangatahi Toa four years ago and have dedicated myself entirely to this mahi, but NYC reminded me that ultimately I will have many other journeys to make in this lifetime so eventually it is to others that I will look to carry on, grow and improve what I started. Radness, this warms my heart.
Geographic polygamy is owwwwwwn.
